seperated from Marianne. Susan-and Fitzgerald.

 

Im just too tired right now,for this, for us, for I love yous and why dont you cares.  there are things that need to be resolved, that need to be resolved by me. every time I think I have something good coming 3 not so good things happen. and then you say “baby I hope nothing bad ever happens to you” and I say “me too”. and theres no voice mail left, and I dont have an extra 60 cents to spare, and right now, 10 years from now seems too far. and right now 10 years from now seems bleaker than right now. ill be old, 10 years from now, still short, still gaunt, still with that ever haggard look on my face that wont let me wear makeup like all the pretty girl at the cosmetics counter. I can’t wear orange lipstick although I really want to, and I can’t wear any kind of makeup without looking like a poor cosmetics’ counter girl… and my hair is too short to be pretty anymore, and im just too fucking tired for any of this to work.

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