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Archive for September, 2009

window1Sometimes I wish I could “Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind” you. 

Because I’m scared of her, and I dont know why. Because whatever she does, however she fails, and however much I exceed, my own expectations and yours, she will always be prettier than me, and smarter than me, and better than me, in every regard. 

Because I imagine her as all powerful, as the Zenia of this whole scenario, I imagine the snap of her fingers  starting  revolutions, and I imagine the sound of her words scattering my sand castle, that I’ve built out of empty promises, and hopes and compromises and lies that I tell to myself.

because I dont speak French, and because I dont pout riding my bike, because I dont own a bike, and because I dont like living in basements and moving to remote locations.

Because I cant “write”, and because I’m not a “sensitive soul”, and because I dont need a good rescuing, and because Im Sharp, and Angled and because I dont cry at movies, and because I find all things repulsive.

Sometimes I wish I could “Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind” you, because, ultimately this isnt about you, or her. It’s about me, and I need to know that I’m first, if not last. I need to be unique to me, and right now the only unique thing here is the green eyed monster thats sitting on my shoulder, whispering: dont let it go, this is the first phase of the rest of this lie.

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مدادرنگی

green

Our best hopes often become our worst dreads, and our worst fears usually turn out to have been the best of our hopes.

I’m just trying to be deep here, I have nothing constructive to add, other than that I got yelled at by a Judge today, not because I couldnt plead my client properly, but because the Judge and his 3 clerks couldnt understand my last name. I had to spell it 3 times and then say it 4 times… I can see why people in our profession change their names…

I wont change my name ever though. I love my name, it connotes that I come from a place, where Hamburger isnt a national meal, and our best poets arent over achieving rhyme writers…

 

so, say it again, its N.O.O.R.A.E.I… then have a burger….

 

امروز بدجور دلشوریی دارم. نمیدونم چرا. از اون روزهای عجیب بود. از اون روزهایی که صبحش با آفتاب شروع شد و ظهرش به بارون ختم شد. از اون روزهایی که پلیس دادگاه آزم اید نخواست و گفت رد شو

از اون روزهایی که قاضی هی‌ وست  حرفم میپرید و مجبورم کرد ۳ بار اسمم رو تکرار کنم: نو.را.ی.

از اون روزایی که موقعی‌ که بارون میومد چتر نداشتم و موقعی‌ که آفتاب درومد چتر و قهوه و تلفن و کیف دستم بود.

چی‌؟ نو.را.ی.

امروز حوصلهٔ گوشت ندارم، دلم واسهٔ هرچی‌ موجود رو زمین  میسوزه، به علاوه خودم…احساس می‌کنم، دنیا داره باهم شکارچی بازی در میاره.

امروز  دلم هوس بوی مدادرنگی چوبی کرده.

امروز از اون روزاست

 

 

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tailsHey, little girl; tell me where you go, to take me to your bed. And hey little girl, let me know, how you can take him to your bed, and hey little girl please teach me the tricks of that trade of happiness you’ve so effectively sewn through the braids of your hair.

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pinkI had outgrown my destiny by the time I was 9.

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Crisis

adam bEvery Success Is Months Away from being a Downgrade.

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8_melialaceveil8_26_08_ryan_chuck_thecastWIDEbambiI Dont Think, Its My Fault….

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See?

 

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تنهایی دلیل ادامه دوستی‌ هاست

و

ترس، تنها دلیل جاودانی عشق

 

 

 

 

 

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